Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Have you ever dreaded having a conversation with a boss or coworker or even a spouse so much that you find yourself playing the different roles inside your head ahead of the actual conversation? And how often does the real conversation mimic the one in your head?
Odds are good that since as much as 80% of communication is nonverbal that you could be ‘leading the witness’ and making things more uncomfortable than they need to be. Think of someone that goes to the boss to ask for a raise but doesn’t think they’ll get it. How often does the boss say yes in that situation? That’s not to say that you shouldn’t have the uncomfortable conversations or that you should like someone that you really don’t. It just means it’s a good idea to leave some of the input to the other party.
If you can stop yourself from predicting the outcome of the conversation or what the other person is likely to say, you may be surprised at what happens. So how do you do that? Mostly by stopping the voices in your head. Prep for any difficult conversation on paper. List out what you want, what problems are occurring, things that you know, and leave out the things that you are guessing. Then every time you hear yourself say “he’s going to say…” stop yourself, remind yourself that you don’t know what the other person will say, and focus on your list instead. Notice what really happens in the meeting, pretend to be a silent observer even as you’re talking. It only takes a time or two of seeing things not go quite as badly as you might have predicted to start to stop leading with your chin and spoiling for a fight.
